As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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