You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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