I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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