she kept yelling 'call me bella'
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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