How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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