i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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