why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
