woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
