I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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