You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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