I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm at about main and main street
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
