literally had 100 drinks last night.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
