How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
