it was like his penis was on wheels.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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