you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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