I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize