Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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