I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
my poor anus
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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