found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
