You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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