I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
