OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
