Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
