He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
