how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
