I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
