i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
