hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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