easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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