My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
