Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Randomize
