thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
