You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
