So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
