we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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