the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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