why didn't you poke me back
babies were throwing up all over the place
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
