So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize