I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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