well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
