if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
