somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
