FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize