Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
