Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize