Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
