On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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