jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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