My first STD was from a foam party
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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