I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
