I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Couch. On fire.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
