i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
