my vag is so smooth its legendary
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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