you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
