How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
