You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
