I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
