it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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