eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
