I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize