Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
