I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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