your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
