How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize