Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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