If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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