are you so shy because you have an std?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
