Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize